Writing update
I feel like this is a post that is both timely and overdue.. What’s really been happening in my writing den?
First of all, the past few years have been a challenge. From health issues (stress is a killer) to losing my job, the past few months were especially hard… BUT… hopeful. I came into 2023 with a renewed sense of get in there or get the F out when it came to my writing. If there was ever a time to make this happen, it’s now.
So, where am I?
In December, I realized I’ve been writing and rewriting the same two books for six years. Same characters, changing circumstances, and I couldn’t nail down their true wounds. I was incorporating too much into those character’s stories, taking bits of life and things I’ve seen in the world and mashing them all into the same two stories. Why was I stuck in this cycle? It wasn’t productive and I was bored with what I was writing. And if I took more than a week break from writing, it would take me weeks to get back into the story.
Also.. I had lost confidence in my ability to let myself brainstorm and let my ideas to run wild.. And as a writer, an artist.. you don’t want to be there.
A lot of this was due to job burnout. The stress of places I was working in killed all inspiration. It’s taken a few months, but when my creativity came back… it was overwhelming. And beautiful. And it kept me alive and awake for the first time in years.
I started to trust myself again. Allowing room to have ideas, write them down, and throw them out. I didn’t have to hang on to everything all at once and try to cram it all into my story. Especially if it’s not fitting the overall goal of the story.
And that brings me to where I am now - re-plotting this story that I’ve had in my heart since 2017 when I went to Write or Die in Seattle. (Seeing pictures of me as a hopeful writer back then makes my heart hurt for her since I haven’t done her justice.) I re-read my plethora of drafts, noting what was and was not working. And then I busted out my writing craft books and really focused on proper story structure. Which beats needed to be in which places. Why those characters were reacting as I depicted them. I did this with the help of KM Weiland’s Helping Writers Become Authors series. Conceptually, I knew the things in her books. I see them all the time in movies and the stories I love. I knew my inciting incident, the main crisis, how the story ended.. but I didn’t really know the characters true motivations and ensuring every scene was driving the next properly based on their motivations.
So, I’ve set aside my drafts and am currently re-plotting this story. Starting with the character maps and nailing down their wounds/lies and not letting every trauma drop into those characters. Pantsing has a place for me as discovery, but I can’t write my entire story this way. My ADHD/enneagram 5 brain kicks in and wants to throw the kitchen sink, a dash of anxiety, and all of my two cent knowledge. I need a map, a North Star, and then I can let the ideas run wild as I am writing. Even if it leads to fresh, unplanned scenes that disrupt my outline.
While I’ve been doing this, I am also reshaping what I want in my author life. The types of stories I will (and will not) write. Devising how I will tackle this in my business plan. Things that were all bouncing around in my head — they are on paper now. Which means, they are documented, so I have to make them happen. That’s how my anxiety works. Lets have it work in my favor this time.